Salutations, and welcome to another one of my blog posts. Warning: this one may get a little fiery. To all those reading this post and realising it’s derived from you and your actions, I sincerely hope you are deeply offended by what I am about to say, from the bottom of my heart.
At the end of my debut blog posted last night, I put the call out there for suggestions on topics that I could write about. To my dismay, I was greeted with one particular suggestion that just didn’t sit right with me. I was left a comment that read “Write about weight gain cause you’ve clearly gone through that”.
This particular person is adamant they were “stitched up” and did not compose the comment themselves, which I personally find suspiciously convenient. Do they think I came down in the last fucking shower? Regardless, I have chosen to keep their identity anonymous to save them from the sheer embarrassment of publishing such a spiteful, degrading comment.
As my eyes glanced the words in front of me, I was genuinely filled with a sense of astonishment at how a person could comment something like that. Not because I haven’t been called fat before, or been reminded that I had gained weight (I have, on multiple occurrences), but because I could not fathom that a human being can reach the age of 19 and STILL not have the maturity or integrity to refrain from expressing such thoughts. This comment was posted 110% maliciously to bring me down and you know how I know that? Because it came from a member of the same group of boys that bullied me throughout high school, the ones that jumped at an opportunity to remind me ADHD isn’t a real condition and that only dumb people do prevocational maths.
PSA Wankers – I duxed prevocational maths with an A+ bitch. *middle finger being displayed*
In light of that, today I have decided to kill them with kindness and write about EXACTLY what they wanted me to.
Before I get into my story, I want to address that I do not believe I was ever “fat”. Yes, I was a chunkier girl who had a little extra meat on her thighs and stomach, but fat is not the right word. I was equally as confident in myself back when I was 76 kg as I am now at 66 kg. No woman or man should ever be made to feel like they are less of a human based on how much they weigh, and anybody who disagrees can stick their opinion where the sun don’t shine.
Between March 2014 and December 2014, I gained 12 kg. This is quite a big gain in a short amount of time and I always told people that it was a result of me going on the pill. To some degree this is true, going on the pill was a contributing factor to my weight gain. However, what most people don’t know is that I also started taking antidepressants during this period to help alleviate the severe depression I was suffering. They slowed down my metabolism, increased my appetite and made me drowsy. As a result, I gained a shit tonne of weight (okay, not a shit tonne in general but a significant amount given I was quite slim and fit beforehand).
Looking back now, I am not embarrassed or ashamed that I was on antidepressants in any way, shape, or form. At the time however, I was afraid to admit I wasn’t okay, so I justified my weight gain with a more “socially acceptable” explanation. Would you be embarrassed if you had diabetes and had to take insulin? The answer is no, you probably wouldn’t. So why should mental illness be any different?
7 weeks ago I stood in my bedroom and looked at myself butt naked in the mirror. I was not happy with the reality I had staring back at me. I had been off a antidepressants for over 2 years now, so why hadn’t I lost the weight? It was in this very moment I decided enough was enough, that I needed to stop making excuses for myself and just lose the damn weight. Since that day 7 weeks ago I’ve lost 10 kg, and I could not be prouder of myself. I haven’t reached my goal yet, but I’m sure as hell as lot closer than I was 7 weeks ago.
I refuse to let anybody bring me down with their hateful words, and especially not a group of egotistical, pig-headed wankstains that have nothing better to do with their lives. The next time you think about intentionally hurting someones feelings for the sake of being a dick, do us all a favour and just don’t, got it?
Thanks for listening!