It’s been a while since I posted a blog. 2 days short of 3 months actually! I’ve got so much to catch you up on, but that will have to wait for another day.
Recently I was rummaging through some old documents looking for an old tax summary and I found a copy of my QCS writing task from 2015. As my eyes glimpsed through the dreams and thoughts of 17-year-old Brooke, I was reminded why I love writing blog posts so much. I love leaving a seed of thought in people’s minds to ponder when they lie in bed at night. I have decided to share this piece with you guys today in the hopes it leaves the same budding curiosity for the future and its mystery that it left in me.
I would also like to point out that I wrote this prior to my ADHD diagnosis.
So here it goes; What feeds us?
Throughout my 17 years of life, I have always asked myself “what gives me motivation?”. What makes me get up each morning? What makes anyone get up each morning for that matter? Is the 9-5 routine all there is to life? Or is there something greater out there that neither you nor I can fathom? They say that if you want to achieve in life you have to bite off more than you can chew and chew like mad, but what if you choke and can’t breathe? What do you do then?
I have never really been an “achiever” growing up. Sure, I’ve done well but I never really excelled at one thing in particular. I think it’s because I always lacked that motivation to stick to one task or activity long enough to make something good out of it. Nothing has ever really fed me to be extraordinary. Every time I try to take a big bite, my windpipe becomes jammed and I can’t handle the pressure. How do the other kids do it? What feeds them to excel? I can’t seem to figure it out, but I sure as hell wish I could.
When you leave school, does your life instantly change? Is your diet suddenly filled with foods that push you to do new things? And why couldn’t you have these foods before? At the end of the day, food is just food, isn’t it? I hope one day to be eating the foods that inspire me to take risky chances and enrich my life with culture I never knew were possible.
However, I don’t want to do these things alone. I want to share my adventures and achievements with the ones I love. I want to always be truly, madly and deeply in love with another soul, because the feeling of love and being loved is quite indescribable. Is the person I’m in love with right now still going to be the person i’m in love with in 10 years time? *spoiler alert; he isn’t*. That is something I do not know, but I do know that love is an adventure, and what we get from this adventure is sheer joy. Joy is, after all, what life is for.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Theory states that our road to self actualisation must be based on a series of ordered importance of needs. Physiological and safety come first, as they are necessary for survival. There’s a common saying that in order for others to love you, you must first love yourself, but I don’t necessarily think that is true. There are many things I don’t love about myself like my thighs, or stretch marks, or my inability to concentrate. But if I left this earth today, I know that I was loved by many.
The question I keep asking myself is, where will I be in 10 years time? Will I be studying a PhD in Psychology? Will I be a stay at home mum looking after the kids and cooking for my husband? Will I be travelling some exotic country and experiencing incredible passion I never thought I would? Whatever I end up doing, and whoever I end up with, those details aren’t important. What’s important is that I’m not full of regrets from the things I didn’t do, rather than the things I did do. I have faith that life will lead me in the direction I’m suppose to go. However, faith makes things possible, not easy. I know I have a long way to go, and I know sometimes it will get hard, but the only way to get through it is to take it one bite at a time.